Introduction

One of the dynamics in the therapeutic relationship is that the counsellor is a person with their past, hurts, unresolved issues, and baggage. As counsellors, we have the amazing and life-changing role of supporting others to look honestly at themselves and improve their lives. If we ask others to look deep within themselves and heal, we must also be prepared to do the same.

If we do not have a fundamental understanding of who we are as people, what has impacted us in our lives, and our own vulnerabilities, we are at risk of projecting them onto our clients. This is dangerous because when we still have unresolved hurts and wounds, we are blind to seeing them in others. Essentially, it becomes the blind leading the blind in a therapy session. This can lead us down all sorts of off-road tracks and result in potentially harmful advice.

Living in accordance with what we teach and practising the therapeutic foundations that we present to our clients every day is a major component of what makes us effective change agents. Our clients can tell if we are practising what we say we are doing; they pick up on much more than we may care to realise. It’s these little things that make all the difference in the therapeutic relationship and either build or destroy trust. 

In this topic, we will explore concepts that are closely linked to a counsellor’s identity, such as self-awareness, personal needs, transference, countertransference, job stress, and self-care.